Challenging the Me

There is nothing
I can't
But everything
I won't
The very mantra of a phlegmatic
Is what I embraced all my life
To live with
I cared little
When everybody moved on
I always had an excuse
Life is a circle
Why should I care?
I am happy being what I am
The truth is it did not last all that long
I felt something hit me hard
I am not just alone
There are people who I need to care
It is high time I move on
But how now?
I have lived all my life
Just the way I have
Can I?
Now there is no would I?

Machine needs oiling
Cricket bat needs seasoning
An athlete needs training
When all for short run needs so much
How much more would I need for long run?
It hit me hard
Now there is a solace
Yes, I am a phlegmatic
One who loves to work under pressure

I cried, challenge me
Nobody dared to
Or should I admit no one was willing to
Where is my motivation?
I looked far and wide
Out of nowhere came nothing

I called me a good for nothing
One that can't achieve anything
- an utter useless person
- a loser
Am I?
I asked myself - self instrospection!

Did I not read
"If you falter in the time of trouble, your strength is small"
Yes I have

I shouted
I am not a loser
But why not?
Because I gave reasons aplenty
And the reasons
Yes there are and they are
It took a little courage
To challenge myself,
My own thoughts
It least disappointed me
As the one I was searching
Like a mad dog
Was nowhere to be found
But within me
Now I hear the words of Mahatma ringing in my ears
"Be the change you want to see"